God’s Presence in the Midst of Transitions
I will never forget the first day of my first “real job.” After graduating college, I moved to Chiang Mai, Thailand to work as a chaplain for a Christian international school. I had been preparing for almost a year to move and take this job so my anticipation and expectations were soaring.
My first day was a gauntlet. I arrived at work at 7:30am to lead a student leadership group, I had new staff meetings throughout the day, and I helped students lead a worship night until late into the evening. And I loved every second of it.
As I was driving home from school, I felt high on the adrenaline of the day. I replayed all of the exciting moments and dreamed about how my time in Thailand would unfold. And then I was hit with the thought — I live alone and have no one at home to share my day with. The energy in my car seemed to pop as I realized one of the great costs of my transition to Thailand.
–––––
When you think of transitions, do you think of them as opportunities to experience God’s presence? For many of us, myself included, we often see transitions as a pesky reality that we need to move through as quickly as possible. We attempt to take matters into our own hands to quickly settle and stabilize.
But what if transition — the actual journey of transition and not just the destination on the other side — is a gift? What if transition, with all its confusion and stripping away, can actually open us up to experience God’s transforming presence in a new way? In the sections that follow, we’ll take a look at three ways transition can open us up to God’s presence.
Transitions expose our trust structures.
In my previous post, I shared the Transition Bridge tool which describes the normal feelings and experiences a person has when walking through the various stages of transition. In the middle of the journey is the Chaos Stage which is marked by feeling unknown, anxious, a loss of self-esteem, and rootlessness.
When we are in the middle of a transition, the rhythm, routine, and status that makes the world feel solid beneath our feet is taken away. Depending on the degree and nature of your transition, this stripping away can be somewhere between uncomfortable and unbearable. The degree to which we react in a given transition has the ability to reveal our trust structures which Robert Mulholland defines as “those deep inner postures of our being that do not rely on God but on self for our well-being." These are the things that, if we are being honest with ourselves, actually provide us with security. To put it another way, these are the things that compete with God to be our true fortress and hiding place (Psalm 31:3-5).
When transitions strip these structures away we are left floating in mid-air. Because of the discomfort of losing one’s sense of security, it is at this point that many seek to cling to or reestablish our trust structures in order to return to a sense of normalcy. This is natural, but it might be a short-term solution to a deeper need.
The restlessness that we experience when our trust structures are exposed, if we are willing, can lead us to seek the only place where our hearts can truly rest. Augustine of Hippo has famously said, “You have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” God alone is big enough and strong enough for us to place the full weight of our trust in. When we seek to find security outside of God, we will inevitably build on a substance that is unstable and susceptible to failure.
As you think about a recent transition, what felt most uncomfortable to you? Can you identify a trust structure that you might have been relying on as your source of identity and security? What would it look like to invite God into this conversation and ask him to show you how to trust him more?
Transitions unmask our false selves.
After Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, one of the first things they did was cover their nakedness with fig leaves. Like these fig leaves, our false selves are anything that we turn to, besides the identity God speaks over us as his beloved children, in order to prove ourselves to God and to the world. False selves are built on the premise that if people –– even God –– truly saw the real me, they would want nothing to do with me. David Benner has said, “Our false self is built on an inordinate attachment to an image of our self that we think makes us special.” So we construct a self that we believe is more presentable to God and others. All the while, we hide our true selves away — the self knit together in our mother’s womb and is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14).
The journey of unmaking and releasing our false selves often takes a lifetime. It takes a lot of healing and deep trust in God’s love for us. But in order to surrender our false selves, we must first unmask them. David Benner notes, “The only hope for unmasking the falsity that resides at the core of our being is a radical encounter with truth.” Because transitions break up our rhythms and throw us into a place of rootlessness, they provide excellent opportunities to hear truth that we might have been deaf to in our normal routines.
When we begin to acknowledge the false selves that we have built up, we can begin to invite God’s healing presence and truth to combat the lies. Your identity and worth does not rest on people perceiving us as likable and funny, but on God’s truth that you have been bought with a price (1 Cor. 6:20). You are not precious in God’s sight because you are intelligent or athletically fit, but because God has redeemed you and called you by name (Isa. 43:1).
Let me quickly share two ways to begin identifying a false self in the midst of transition.
First, look for the things that you get most defensive about. Because our false selves are rooted in unreality, they require a great deal of bolstering in order to prop them up. When you are in the Chaos Stage of transition, what identity trait (self-sufficiency, being a caretaker, competency) would you get most defensive if questioned or dismissed?
Another way to identify your false self within a transition is to ask what identity or trait you feel the need to most quickly reestablish. Because our false selves lead us to believe that our value and worth is contingent on being perceived in a certain way, we will experience a compulsive drive to project certain values.
Transition Reveals Our Needs
When we find ourselves in the middle of a transition, we are more acutely aware of our needs. We might need stability, we might need new furniture, or we might need friends —whatever it is, we are very aware that we lack it. For most of us, our starting point is often to take matters into our own hands. We might throw up a quick prayer, but if we are being honest, we are acting out of our own power. Taking initiative in times of transition is not wrong, but we could be missing out on a sweet opportunity to experience God’s presence. Instead, what would it look like to take a slower approach and bring our needs before the Lord trusting that he is our good Father who already knows our needs and longs to give us good gifts?
A few years ago when I moved into a new house, I needed to purchase a TV. I was, at the time, wrestling through this very idea of wanting to encounter God through my needs — no matter how trivial — so I began to pray and ask the Lord if I should purchase a TV. I then resolved to keep the matter open until the Lord made an answer clear. A day or so later, my boss asked me at work if I wanted a free TV he was getting rid of. I said yes, and quietly thanked the Lord for his provision—I had merely asked if I should buy a TV, yet God provided a way for me to be given a TV.
As silly as this story may sound, it was an important, faith-expanding moment for me. I got to see my Father’s seriousness about wanting to take care of me by providing what I might deem an insignificant or unspiritual need. Had I simply gone out and purchased a TV — which wouldn’t have been bad — I would have missed out on this opportunity. As you press into your seasons of transition, what would it look like to slow down and purposefully turn to God as a starting point for your needs?
––––––
After arriving home from my first day of work in Thailand, I sat in my driveway feeling the ache of being alone and having no one to share my day with. The reality of the massive transition I was in began to sink in and I wondered how long it would last. Then out of nowhere I felt the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit speak to my heart and say, “Jack, you are never alone, because I am with you always. Why don’t you tell me about your day?” Tears began to fill my eyes as I felt God’s loving presence fill my car. I then proceeded to tell my Father about my day.
While I don’t miss the ache of this lonely period of transition, I am thankful the Lord allowed me to walk through it. Having community stripped away for a period allowed God to take a piece of head knowledge — God’s omnipresence — and transform it into heart knowledge—my Father really is present with me. I return to this moment often as a memorial stone that continues to give me courage and faith when I need it. If I hadn’t walked through this valley moment of transition, I would not have been able to encounter God’s life-giving presence.
Take a moment and think through a current (or recent) moment of transition in your life.
In what areas do you feel most stretched and uncomfortable?
What do you feel like you are losing in the process? (Status, identity, value, purpose, etc.)
What invitations might God have for you in this period of transition?
How might you lean into the uncomfortability of the transition and choose to let it form you more into a person of love?
